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Conclusive Thinking
Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Over the past two days I've raised difficult questions about a mother who breastfed at her daughter's school. She was asked to stop by school administators and although I believe every mother should and has the right to breastfeed I also believe that we have to consider the rights and feelings of others when we advocate for breastfeeding rights.

I didn't get many responses to yesterday's question so either my questioning is off-base or no one can adequately answer it.

Believe me, I am completely in favor of a mother's right to breastfeed in public. But in this society, I understand that while breastfeeding is a natural and beautiful act in my eyes, everyone does not share my sentiments.

Schools, in my mind, represent a place where all people's rights should be respected even those who may prefer their children not see a mother breastfeed her nineteen-month-old. Any other thinking beyond that starts a slide down the slippery slope to breastfeeding fanaticism in my view, where no one is right save those who breastfeed.

I know in debating people don't like to talk about slippery slopes, so I'll rephrase. I really don't want to ever go down a "moist hill" into close-minded lactivism where no one else matters.

As an aside: I know many liken breastfeeding rights to those of the Civil Rights movement. In fact, some may argue that in a segregated America, some whites had the right for their children to not go to school with blacks, if you follow my aforementioned line of thinking. But, the basic right of equal access to education for all children regardless of race is miles apart from a mother's right to breastfeed in front of other children not her own. Just wanted to throw that out before I hear that argument.

Labels: breastfeeding news

posted by Jennifer James @ 9:01 AM,

6 Comments:

At February 20, 2008 12:13 PM, Jennifer said...: We'll just have to keep working on you then. ;)

I respect your opinion, but still disagree. You are saying that because some people find breastfeeding icky, those beliefs should be respected to the exclusion of the rights of the woman who is breastfeeding and the rights of her children.

I do not believe that people who breastfeed are any more right or wrong than others. I do not believe that breastfeeding mothers and children deserve special treatment.

I do believe that if it is appropriate to feed a baby from a container other than a breast, it should be appropriate to feed a baby from the breast. To put any restrictions on a breastfeeding dyad that would not be put on another is unfair, unjust, and perpetuates the belief that breasts are only for grownups.

FWIW, I am not saying that women should be required to breastfeed in school, or that it should be a required subject to discuss with children (although, we have no problem telling them that milk comes from cows, that mammals are defined by their ability to give live birth and provide milk for their offspring, and the cycle of life is a recurring scientific theme beginning in Kindergarten...). Nor am I requesting that all public school provide a private room for breastfeeding to occur in. No special treatment at all. Just equal consideration. Totally equal, meaning if you can do it, I can do it; not separately equal, meaning you can do it anywhere, but I have to hide.
At February 20, 2008 5:11 PM, Eilat said...: Funny, I see the slippery slope in the other direction. First its ok to tell a woman to not breastfeed in school because of the children. Then its ok to tell a woman to cover up or hide her nursing at the playground, because kids might see, then the mall and restaurants and then we are back to square one where breastfeeding is considered inappropriate in public in general. I mean, there could be kids around and how will we explain it to them?

I find it interesting that you see the school environment as having different rules than the rest of the world. Im interested in why that is, especially in the context of your choice to homeschool your children. Im just curious.

My mother is a 5th grade teacher. In her classroom there is a science book that has pictures of mammals. There is a picture of a woman nursing. One day the kids were leafing through and started snickering and giggling over the picture. When she saw this, she was very concerned at this reaction, that 10 year old would not know about breastfeeding as a form of infant feeding. It is a consequence of the pervasiveness of bottle feeding in our culture. It is very likely that few to none of those kids or their sibling were nursed. She took this as an opportunity to explain to them, as their science teacher, that humans are mammals and we feed our babies the same way all other mammals do.

Was she wrong to do this? If a parent were offended could they complain about this lesson?

Finally, I would also point out that by saying that "Schools ... represent a place where all people's rights should be respected" I would think that includes the rights of the breastfeeding mother. Why are her rights less important than the rights of those offended by her feeding? It sounds like you are saying that the rights of those offended by breastfeeding are more important than the rights of mothers who breastfeed (and the babies who are hungry/upset/needing comfort).
At February 20, 2008 7:14 PM, Lone Star Ma said...: I agree with jennifer and eliat.
At February 21, 2008 1:18 AM, momnzion said...: I must say...with all that has been said (and I must agree with the other moms on this one) there is something that has me more upset. I read the article, followed by the comments of the other readers of the story, and it made me sick to my stomach. Almost every single comment made reference to how horrible this mom was for breastfeeding her 19 month old baby. So many statements that her baby was too old, that it was the mom with an attachment problem. This is the mindset that needs to be fixed!
At February 21, 2008 8:06 AM, Anonymous said...: Well, I have to disagree totally.

It is not the mother feeding the baby (I mean, it is very young child, not a preschooler even!! ) but the child EATING!! And eveyr child has the right to eat, anywhere and everywhere!! Even if it were out of soothing, not feeding, it would be the childs right to nurse!

It has IMO nothing to do with rights of grownups, or with what other children might think, but the right of this child to be treated the way it is always treated and fed.

Saying it is the same as taking cookies with you and that some childrens parents would not like their children to eat them , is silly, there were no other kids on her breast, were there? ;-)

I really think it is so sad and wrong for other people to tell a child, via its mother: you have no right to be fed the way it is suposed to be, you have to wait in favor of other people.

Here in HOlland I have not had such an incident, I feed my 24 mo old everywhere, but, a lot in the wrap/carrier, so not a lot of people see it, but still, his shirt today says: My mummy makes milk, what is your superpower? ;-)

No, no one should be telling a child not to nurse.
At February 21, 2008 8:07 AM, Anonymous said...: Anonymous was me, Tina, from Holland.