Send your breastfeeding photos to me at info (at) mommytoo (dot) com.
Considering Other Children While Breastfeeding in Public
Monday, February 18, 2008
A Florida mother was asked by a teacher and principal to cease breastfeeding at her daughter's elementary school when she came to eat lunch with her. At first, the teacher and principal said it was against the law to breastfeed on school grounds which was completely false. Upon learning that the law was on the mother's side, they said they didn't feel it was appropriate to do in front of the other children.This may be hard to swallow, but I agree with the school officials and I'll tell you why. Some parents may not want their child seeing another woman breastfeed (it's their right to feel that way), although breastfeeding is perfectly normal and little children could care less about seeing another woman's breast. But, I think it was the obligation of this mother to take into consideration the thoughts and feelings other parents before breastfeeding at her daughter's school. I think it's common courtesy.
It's almost like if you're a room-mother for a day and you bring cookies for snack. Some parents may not want their child snacking on cookies, so you don't really have the right to impose your own believes on another parent's child.
What do you think? Was the mother correct to breastfeed at her daughter's school or did she go too far?
Labels: breastfeeding in public
posted by Jennifer James @ 8:03 AM,
12 Comments:
-
At February 18, 2008 4:12 PM,
said...
-
Was this a public or a private school? If it was a public school, I respectfully dissagree with you. Some parents do not wish to expose their children to Sally who has two fathers; to people who have tatoos and piercings; to swearing; to people who are not the same race or religion; to people who are mentally or physically challenged; the list goes on and on. However, a tatooed, pierced, mentally challenged, homosexual, and/or Muslim parent would not be asked to leave the campus of a public school no matter how uncomfortable they were making someone else (on the basis of those things alone), so why is it OK to ask a breastfeeding mom to leave?
The fear is that parents will have to face explaining something to their children that makes the parents uncomfortable. Isn't that a huge part of parenting?
It boils down to this: It is OK to ask a breastfeeding mother to leave when it is OK to ask a bottlefeeding mother to leave. Until then it is a form of discrimination. -
At February 18, 2008 4:36 PM,
said...
-
What if I didn't really want my child exposed to babies being bottle fed because I wanted her to see breastfeeding as the norm. Would they have asked the bottle feeding mother to leave? I doubt it. I personally don't think either should be discriminated against.
Lola -
At February 18, 2008 6:30 PM,
chrissymonster said...
-
As a mother who has breastfed at her son's school I am saddened and angered by this. I am sure the mother in question did not expose herself at large to the children. I have been asked by a curious child what I was doing, and simply said "I'm feeding my baby so he can go to sleep". And the questions stopped there. Kids get it, even if adults don't!
-
At February 18, 2008 7:45 PM,
Lone Star Ma said...
-
Got to disagree with you - of course she should breastfeed at school, and anywhere she happens to be when her child needs to nurse. Breastfeeding is natural and necessary - if we hide it from children, we are treating it as inappropriate public behavior. I have nursed my little one at her sister's school plenty, and I really don't care who is watching (and no one ever hassles me - one has to perfect the look). Now, if I had told the kid whose Invention Fair Project was a device that would feed a bottle to a child in a carseat, so no one had to stop to hold the baby, that his sort of thinking was what was wrong with Western Civilization...that would be crossing a line.
-
At February 18, 2008 7:48 PM,
Jennifer James said...
-
I don't think this issue is as much about discrimination as it is about common courtesy for other people's children. There's nothing wrong with considering the feelings and attitudes of other parents before breastfeeding in front of their children.
-
At February 19, 2008 12:42 AM,
said...
-
Would a mother be asked to put a bottle away or cover her breast during the summer months or any other time she was wearing a reveling shirt? When children are bombarded by women in a half dressed state EVERY day (TV and other advertising) why would someone CHOSE to stop a mother from FEEDING her child? I am sure she was not exposed or falling out of her clothing. Can the same be said for some women during the summer months when they are coming to pick up their children? I find this very sad on 2 accounts, first that the school stepped in and hindered this mother from feeding her child and then again when the writer of this article defended their actions. It is a sad state of the world when women can dress in a manner that leaves NOTHING to the imagination and no one says anything to her but a mother feeding her child in public is harassed and asked to leave. Very sad.
JQ -
At February 19, 2008 2:07 PM,
Eilat said...
-
I too have to disagree with you.
You say:
"Some parents may not want their child seeing another woman breastfeed (it's their right to feel that way)"
Ill play devil's advocate (sort of because I really do feel this way, but, for the same reason that I think the school was wrong, I would never act on these feelings):
Isn't it my right to object when a baby is being bottle-fed in front of my son? I want him to know that breastfeeding is the norm and frankly, I find an artificial nipple on a long phallic object (bottle) to be much more offensive than a woman's breast.
Can I ask the school to consider my wishes and ask a bottle feeding mom to stop feeding her baby?
Of course not! If I am uneasy about this, I can sit my son down and explain to him about how some babies are fed, trying to keep the judgment out of it and just lay out the facts. Kids are completely lacking in prejudice. That is something to celebrate and nurture. We are the ones who project our issues onto them.
Jennifer (comment #1) took the words right out of my mouth:
"The fear is that parents will have to face explaining something to their children that makes the parents uncomfortable. Isn't that a huge part of parenting?"
exactly. -
At February 20, 2008 2:25 PM,
PunditMom said...
-
Check out one of the past campaigns at the League of Maternal Justice blog. In many states it's illegal to preclude breastfeeding. And in any event, most moms I've seen are pretty discreet.
Impacting the kids? I hardly think so. -
At February 20, 2008 8:00 PM,
childishcouture said...
-
If breastfeeding wasn't looked at as an immoral or sexual task or as a child/ baby suckling on sex objects and more people understood the benefits of breastfeeding, it would matter. Reminds me years ago when my 3 yr old dd had a call home. Seems as if in the dramatci playcenter, she was acting in appropriately. When asked what my dd did, I was told she put a doll under her shirt. I asked my dd who told me, the baby was hungry ( rolling her eyes :) She thought and still thinks as it as the way of ALL. aT ANY RATE SORRY FOR THE TYPOS :) iM NURSING MY 18 MONTH OLD:o)
-
At February 21, 2008 8:35 AM,
Elizabeth F. said...
-
I am a breastfeeding mother who attends my daughter's school very regularly. I have never been asked to not breastfeed, although there have been times that when nursing (the teacher may not have even noticed because of baby being in a sling) that the other kids are very excited to see a baby so they want to gather around and be a little too close for my comfort.
When I nurse I am pretty much covered or out of direct site, so I don't think it's very noticeable that I'm nursing. I think it should be ok to nurse on school grounds just like it is in any other public place! Of course, sensitivity is always a plus. -
At February 22, 2008 11:23 PM,
Fat Lady said...
-
When my now 2year old was an infant I regularly breastfed her at my older daughter's school without any hesitation. If anyone had dared to suggest that I shouldn't I would have reminded them that according to NY State law a woman has the right to breastfeed anyplace that she has the right to be. This law is in place because breastfeeding is NORMAL AND NATURAL and not something that needs to be hidden from anyone - especially not children.
If anything, I am proud that I had the opportunity to give some children the chance to see a baby being fed in the most healthy, natural way possible. One of my daughter's classmates came up to me at an after-school event for families and asked why I was holding my baby in the position I had her. When I told her I was nursing - she was amazed to discover that a mother's body could produce milk and that a baby could drink it. Even though she had younger siblings - she had never encountered or even heard of breastfeeding.
Was I worried that her parents might not approve - sorry, but to the contrary - I was happy that this little girl learned something new - something vital - something that might make it even a vague possibility that sometime down the line, when she has children of her own, that she might consider breastfeeding.
I think if more children see breastfeeding as part of their everyday lives, then maybe 20 years or so down the line - these breastfeeding in public discussions won't even exist because for mothers to nurse their babies wherever and whenever they need to will be the norm. -
At March 6, 2008 9:59 PM,
isaiah'smom said...
-
I used to be ashamed to nurse my son in public but then I realized that I was putting the feelings of others' before the right of my own child. He has a right to eat and others have the right to look elsewhere.
I've always been discreet and no one has ever seen skin. I'm sure they could assume what I was doing but that's more of their problem than my own.
I used to HATE to see nursing mothers..I mean I hated it with a passion but it was because I didn't understand it. People need to be more accepting of nursing...it's natural. Breasts have become over sexualized and people refuse to see them as anything different.
