he woman who is arguably the best-known columnist at Africana.com is affable as we discuss her first big work published in print one Saturday morning in May. Although our interview is five states away -- via phone -- there’s no mistaking that the voice on the other end perfectly matches the many robust columns and staid opinions that she’s expressed for four years as a columnist at one of the most popular Black interest sites on the Net. Strong, seemingly unshakable, yet gracious and just plain nice, we spent the better part of the interview talking about her essay, “My Girl” that was published in the recently released anthology, Rise Up Singing: Black Women Writers On Motherhood.

Bethany Allen, or the Brown Eyed Girl -- the moniker that’s been her handle at Africana.com since 2000 -- comes into the homes of millions via Africana.com and occasionally on AOL and AlterNet.com each month. She has entertained her audience with honest takes on being single, then attached, then single again. We’ve grown with her these past four years. We cheered for her when she moved into a new house in a better community after living for eight years in a small apartment with her three growing children. We knew it was only a matter of time before she landed the much-needed lucrative job and now, we celebrate Allen becoming a published author in a book; something she admits to having wished for since being a youngster.

Bethany Allen, a single mother of three -- two girls and one boy – is an accomplished, well-educated, talented woman and mom. Fifteen years ago, though, her prospects looked dim at best, bleak at worst. An exceptionally-gifted, Harvard-bound teenager, Allen found herself suddenly pregnant, single and having not an inkling about what lie ahead on the long and arduous road to motherhood and beyond. As any teen that has been accepted into one of the most prestigious colleges in the world, Allen wanted to capitalize on the future a Harvard education ensured, yet she couldn’t unremorsefully dismiss her maternal instincts even though her mother and family were taking wonderful care of her daughter, Rachel, in her absence. In “My Girl” Allen recounts the resilience and unwavering determination it took for her to make it where she is today –nearing two decades after reconciling her life to mothering her daughter, going to school and raising a family, now three children strong.

Though Allen has two other children, it is her first, Rachel, who signifies a special and unique place in her maternal development. “Despite the fact that I sometimes resented my overnight maturity and longed for the carefree lives my peers took for granted, I am grateful now for what she gave me during those early years,” Allen writes.

Over the many years, we’ve come to rely on the wit and on-point observations Allen has graciously offered in her columns. She is, well, a shero to many of us; full of a stealthy determination to raise her children, offering no apologies and accepting no sympathies for life’s ups and downs. In “My Girl”, though, we see the first glimpse of a vulnerable Allen; in desperate need to cross into a higher income bracket and searching for quality time to simply notice the growth stages in her children. “My Girl” is the most personal of works that Allen has shared with readers, for in it she comes to realistic terms with what may have been before deemed a mistake, but is now unmistakably a blessing.  

Fast forward to today, Rachel, Allen’s oldest, is now a mostly grown up, high school student who loves the I Love Lucy Show and has a cleft in her chin like her Dad and has officially entered the obligatory years of teenage rebellion. On a return trip from a New York book event that she took along with her daughter Allen remembers being blown away and really touched by the whole experience. On the train home to Boston, Rachel told her that she was proud of her. “I was overcome with happiness,” Allen melted. “I think I have made her proud of me.”

To read Bethany Allen’s Africana.com archived columns visit http://www.africana.com/columns/allen/index.asp

Copyright 2004, Jennifer James

Jennifer James is the editor of Mommy Too! Magazine.